you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My bed smells like the plague
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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