New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
