Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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