went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize