Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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