I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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