if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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