It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
