I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
