Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
false alarm, still single
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
