So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
