its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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