And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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