When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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