Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
