Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
