I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
