Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
