She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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