I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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