Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
