he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
