dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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