I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
