He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
