i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
