i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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