i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
only you would photoshop your dick
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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