I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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