i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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