I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
