feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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