he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
