Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
