I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
