I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
worst night to have a conscience
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
