I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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