so explain again why im purple
no
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
