FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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