He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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