Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
