Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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