So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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