ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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