Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
