I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
