I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
