I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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