She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
