It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
