I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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