Where is the hickey?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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