i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
