Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
