I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
