i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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