Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
