I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
