I wish I only lived at night.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
