he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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