i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
